I know I’m perfectly capable of writing a comic script for another person, but when I’m looking at this one I’m writing for myself, I have to wonder. I’m still pretty sure I’m going to lose, but this is going to be fun to draw.
Here are some choice samples:
Narrate: You know how sometimes you wake up in the morning and realise that you’re pretty awesome?
Narrate: Well when you’re JOHNNY PATCH ☠ you get that feeling 25/8 - so awesome you get an extra hour and an extra day.
Narrate: He’s the kind of guy that if he catches you looking twice, he’ll kick your fu-
Cutesy Bubble (interrupting narration and impending swear word): Woah!
Johnny is suave and brushes a hand through his luxurious mane.
Johnny’s face turns into a picture of realistic confusion bordering on fury. His features are drawn out and it becomes apparent that he is not a pretty person outside of the cartoon world at all.
It would be nice to kick Rue, but the spikes on his shoes might make that a bit too painful given that the punchline is meant to be funny despite the child abuse, rather than traumatising.